I could not believe that I would actually be here, on my own, in New York City. For a year, my mom was living with me here, and during that time, she asked if I wanted to return to Korea with her or stay here on my own and finish middle school in New York City. It took me months to decide to stay in this city full of opportunities and freedom! However, in contrast to my excitement, every relative of mine, even my mom, doubted I could overcome all the sorrowful emotions and hardships that would afflict my spirit as I took on challenges beyond my age.
For the first two weeks, I lived very busily and didn’t let myself spend any time calming down and reflecting on my situation. My schedule was full of swimming practices, high school tests, school and housework. This led me to be ironically energetic and vigorous; I rushed past my memories of dear people, places, and times. Sometimes when they would call, I didn’t even want to talk to them. However, as expected, my energy died out; I felt like the last person standing in a world. Infinite sorrow, loneliness and rage, which I have tried to ignore, rushed towards me and cracked open the truth of my mind. I couldn’t even find a way to attempt to cope with my immense pessimism and hopelessness and lived every day with idleness. As a result, my dismissive attitude brought a huge drop in my grades. It slackened my improvement in sports and other skills such as computer programming and perspective drawings that I hoped to develop during the school year.
However, subsequently, I started to recollect my memories of my past life in Korea, which I have carelessly thrown away without properly saying goodbye. In the midst of this misery, I remembered the warmth I feel from my big family cuddle and good night kisses. This reminded me the importance of maintaining a delicate control between the present and the happiness I experienced in my past life. Engaging in self-development is a useful skill to acquire, but it had major setbacks for me; I almost gave away my precious relationships with friends and families, which I have built over my entire lifetime, so easily. After this major realization, I returned to my beloved families’ hearts. Thankfully, they heartily accepted and shared my emotions, and even cried for my regrets over trying to make them marginal in my life. With the help of my people, I regained the energy to participate in my original schedule and activities actively. Even though there were bumpy roads during the year, I was able to maintain an optimistic view of every obstacle I went past.
My people pave the way for me to step forward, even when we are far apart. Even though I still have months left to live on my own, now I know how to overcome hardships — with the help of my family and my friends, who would gladly spend their time for ameliorating my worries. Until now, I thank them for being so selfless and generous, and always being there for me.
